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Dr Phil: Hug me, I've got herpes (poem)

Dr PhilHug me, I’ve got herpes
See the blisters on my cheek
It starts with just a tingling
And goes inside a week*  

It’s certainly a virus
And it gets everywhere
Most people have no symptoms
Life really isn’t fair

Hug me, I’ve got herpes
And I’ve read all the bumph
It comes out in the sun and wind
And the wrong time of the month  

But if I catch it early
When the tingles first appear
I can nip it in the bud
With lemon balm and Aciclovir

Hug me, I’ve got herpes
And it’ll come and go
It lives inside my nerve roots
And travels to and fro  

Herpes isn’t scary
Unless you get it in your eye
So don’t spit on your contacts
And leave the spots to dry

Hug me, I’ve got herpes
And not just round my mouth
Think chicken pox on your privates
Or a cold sore going south  

The first attack was painful
But now they’re really rare
I use salt baths and teabags
And give it lots of air

Hug me, I’ve got herpes
And I bet that you’re the same
Who knows where it first came from?
And no-one is to blame  

So let’s chat and laugh and cuddle
Until it goes away
Time for books and baths and gossip
We can love another day

*to 10 days, usually
Dr Phil Hammond is a medical doctor, comedian and commentator on health issues.
For information on the herpes virus, go to our pages on cold sores and genital herpes.

Written by: Dr Phil Hammond
Edited by: Dr Phil Hammond
Last updated: Thursday, January 21st 2016

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Comments on this article

Posted by Optional on 10/09/2015 at 03:27

I love this. Thank you.

Posted by erika on 04/02/2013 at 10:58

I just came across this website looking for info on bedwetting for a friends son. I have now looked into some other problems that are closer to home and I have to say: thank you! this is all so very helpful! I enjoy hearing you discuss all these things, so Ill probably listen to more stuff, even though the problems arent mine, and hopefully wont be. thank you!!!!!

Posted by Anthony on 10/12/2011 at 05:10

Very Cute, I think this must be one of the best ways to help people feel better about the issue. Ingenious.