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Dr Phil: Cheeky bowel syndrome (poem)

Dr PhilWhen doctors are uncertain
They use a silly name
Like irritable bowel syndrome
What’s that supposed to mean?

IBS is common
We’ve all had a bout or two
But some folks get it really bad
And live beside the loo
The good news, it won’t kill you
But your bowels are in a mess
There is no easy answer
Is it bugs or nerves or stress?
Most get pain, some clog up
I get a morning rush
Five times a day in ribbons
But they’re quite easy to flush
My mum gets wind and bloating
Maybe it’s in the genes
All her tests are normal
Could it be the custard creams?
Our bowels are overactive
Like a cheeky child
The nerves fire off too quickly
And it makes the gut run wild
There may not be a cure
But there’s lots that you can do
Relax, de-stress, ease off on booze
And don’t obsess with poo
There’re drugs for pain and spasm
And fibre if you’re stuck
And even drugs to bung you up
If you’re really out of luck
Fags and caffeine may not help
Some foods can make it worse
But first sit down and talk it through
Probably with a nurse
Dr Phil Hammond is a medical doctor, comedian and commentator on health issues.

Written by: Dr Phil Hammond
Edited by: Dr Phil Hammond
Last updated: Friday, August 13th 2010

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Comments on this article

Posted by sandy on 23/05/2014 at 11:19

I have constipation badly, bloating, stomach pains, air for years, I have lately experienced jelly blood appear. I currently take IBS tablets as nothing else has ever worked. I have a healthy diet and exercise. Should I worry.

Posted by lk on 25/07/2013 at 06:40

I've had a problem with leaking fecal from the rectum since my son was born. It occurs when I pass a little gas, or just all of a sudden happens, and I can't make it to the bathroom in time and have feces' all in my underwear, and from my rectum to my vagina. Its completely embarrassing. Not sure if its irritable bowel syndrome or bowel incontinence. Please help

Posted by Optional on 09/01/2012 at 09:03

is it posssible to be incontinent with bladder and bowels

Posted by Optional on 25/02/2011 at 09:36

thank you for a clear and concise definition of IBS. I really appreciate it.