Dr Phil: Hug me, I've got herpes (poem)

Dr Phil Hug me, I’ve got herpes
See the blisters on my cheek
It starts with just a tingling
And goes inside a week*

It’s certainly a virus
And it gets everywhere
Most people have no symptoms
Life really isn’t fair

Hug me, I’ve got herpes
And I’ve read all the bumph
It comes out in the sun and wind
And the wrong time of the month

But if I catch it early
When the tingles first appear
I can nip it in the bud
With lemon balm and Aciclovir

Hug me, I’ve got herpes
And it’ll come and go
It lives inside my nerve roots
And travels to and fro

Herpes isn’t scary
Unless you get it in your eye
So don’t spit on your contacts
And leave the spots to dry

Hug me, I’ve got herpes
And not just round my mouth
Think chicken pox on your privates
Or a cold sore going south

The first attack was painful
But now they’re really rare
I use salt baths and teabags
And give it lots of air

Hug me, I’ve got herpes
And I bet that you’re the same
Who knows where it first came from?
And no-one is to blame

So let’s chat and laugh and cuddle
Until it goes away
Time for books and baths and gossip
We can love another day

*to 10 days, usually

Dr Phil Hammond is a medical doctor, comedian and commentator on health issues. http://drphilhammond.com

Written by: Dr Phil Hammond
Edited by: Dr Phil Hammond
Last updated: Friday, August 13th 2010

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Comments on this article

Posted by Anthony on 10/12/2011 at 05:10

Very Cute, I think this must be one of the best ways to help people feel better about the issue. Ingenious.