Dr Phil: Happy birthday Viagra (poem)

Dr Phil Happy birthday Viagra
Ten years old today
Once I couldn’t get it up
Now it won’t go away

I used to use a vacuum pump
But that just left me cold
And there’s a pellet or a needle
If you’re feeling bold

If you prefer to pop a pill
Then there’s a choice of three
Viagra comes in diamond blue
It’s there for all to see

Cialis is a muddy yellow
Levitra orange and round
Easier to explain away
Just in case they’re found

None are aphrodisiacs
You’ve got to have desire
And don’t skimp on the foreplay
If you want to light her fire

They’re not a panacea
They may not work for all
But for most they boost the blood flow
And get you walking tall

One in ten men suffer
But men don’t like to talk
They waste their time on line
Buying blobs of coloured chalk

So don’t be soft in silence
Pop down to your GP
We’ll check your blood cholesterol
And the sugar in your pee

You may get offered tablets
Not on the NHS
Labour don’t like you making love
In case you make a mess

But sex is really good for you
And it’s lots of fun
Unless you just don’t like it
Or you’re living as a Nun

So Happy Birthday Viagra
Ten years old today
Shake off all those cobwebs
And bring him out to play

Dr Phil Hammond is a medical doctor, comedian and commentator on health issues. http://drphilhammond.com

Written by: Dr Phil Hammond
Edited by: Dr Phil Hammond
Last updated: Friday, August 13th 2010

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