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Dr Phil: Cheeky bowel syndrome

When doctors are uncertain
They use a silly name
Like irritable bowel syndrome
What’s that supposed to mean?

IBS is common
We’ve all had a bout or two
But some folks get it really bad
And live beside the loo
 
The good news, it won’t kill you
But your bowels are in a mess
There is no easy answer
Is it bugs or nerves or stress?
 
Most get pain, some clog up
I get a morning rush
Five times a day in ribbons
But they’re quite easy to flush
 
My mum gets wind and bloating
Maybe it’s in the genes
All her tests are normal
Could it be the custard creams?
 
Our bowels are overactive
Like a cheeky child
The nerves fire off too quickly
And it makes the gut run wild
 
There may not be a cure
But there’s lots that you can do
Relax, de-stress, ease off on booze
And don’t obsess with poo
 
There’re drugs for pain and spasm
And fibre if you’re stuck
And even drugs to bung you up
If you’re really out of luck
 
Fags and caffeine may not help
Some foods can make it worse
But first sit down and talk it through
Probably with a nurse
 
Dr Phil Hammond is a medical doctor, comedian and commentator on health issues. http://drphilhammond.com

Written by: Dr Phil Hammond
Edited by: Dr Phil Hammond
Last edited: Friday, February 5th 2010

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